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| Don't take anything back to the lab that looks like it might hatch real soon-especially if it is transparent something inside is moving or it appears to be lighted from within. | If the phone lines are dead and you hear footsteps upstairs and you say "Tom Tom is that you?" and Tom does not answer run away. | Don't open the closed door especially if you hear scratching heavy breathing or the voice of a dear relative whom you THOUGHT was dead. | As a general rule don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. | If it's late at night and your dog suddenly perks up his ears and growls lowly in his throat never EVER say "Whassa matter Boy? Gotta go out?" | And the #1 rule for surviving a horror movie: DON'T HAVE SEX!!! |
| Never say that you'll be right back because you won't. | If the creepy bag lady of the town tries to give you some advice TAKE IT! For some reason she always seems to know what she is talking about during her brief moments of lucidity. | Always check the back seat of your car. | Never go for a walk by yourself especially in the wilderness. | If you open a door and the room you see is not the room that should be there do not explore it. In fact even if you close the door and see the correct room after re-opening it vacate the house. | If you're ever lost in the woods filming a documentary don't stop and collect little stick figures. |
| When you're searching a house because you think there's something dangerous there for God's sake turn the lights on! | Never look under the stairs or the bed or in the closet or the cellar attic etc. | Avoid going to isolated research stations whenever possible. Arctic weather stations foreboding pacific atolls distant space stations and island bases for gene-splicing corporations top the list. | Never accept a job as a camp counselor. | If on a stormy night you find a window open which you thought was previously closed do not close it. It may be your only way out when whatever has come in through it is chasing you. | Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're really sure you know what you are doing. |
| Do NOT drink alcohol if you are underage. | If some guy comes to your door who looks exactly like an ancestor of yours who "died" 200 years before claiming to be a cousin from England SHUT THE DOOR! | If you're searching for something that caused a mysterious noise and find out that it's just the cat leave the room immediately if you value your life. | If someone tells you "Wait right here" heed that person's order and don't go anywhere. | Never unlock the doors and look outside. | Stay away from certain geographical locations some of which are listed here: Amityville Elm Street Transylvania Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one!) the Bemuda Triangle or any small town in Maine. |
| Anniversary nights of executions horrible murders or terrifying rituals should be viewed with fear. Especially on the spot where the event took place. Most especially on even century anniversaries. And certainly if you or a friend is somehow descended from one of the original participants. | Never back out of one room into another without looking. It's always behind you. | Do not take ANYTHING from the dead. | When you are trapped in a strange old house with your date NEVER say: "Let's try the basement!" or "Look! The stairs up to the attic!" | Never assume that everything is going to be all right. It won't be. | When approaching a room with a door that hasn't been opened in decades and the knob begins to slowly turn back and forth on its own back away! Do NOT ask loudly "Who's there?" |
| Never bathe especially when in the house alone. | Nothing is ever over if it is still nighttime. | Never trust your best boy/girl friend. As soon as the monster or spirit can it's going to take over his/her mind and that friend will turn on you. | Never turn off the radio or TV when an emergency news bulletin is on - unless you want to be in the next bulletin. | If you find a town that looks deserted it's probably that way for a reason. Take the hint and stay away. | Do not search the basement especially if the power has just gone out. |